God created the heavens and the earth.
And the earth was without light,
so God created light.
And the light shined upon
the greatest land mass, the United States.
God saw that this was good.
But in God's infinite wisdom,
he saw that the United States
would one day be jeopardized.
So God created a protector, The Ranger.
And the light shined upon the Ranger.
God saw that this was good.
And on the seventh day, God rested.
However...
the Ranger remained awake.
